debbie_g: (Default)
debbie_g ([personal profile] debbie_g) wrote in [personal profile] christopher_allan 2011-10-25 11:30 pm (UTC)

There's a lot here that I like. I think, though, that there are two separate stories here: the one about being the youngest in the family by quite a bit, and the one about the purple shirt. Develop either of them more, and you'll be doing great! You've got the 3rd person pov down really well, though.

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